Wednesday 29 September 2021
Impact Statement for Sarah Everard by her mother, Susan Everard as Wayne Couzens is sentenced.
Sarah
Everard, 14th June 1987 to March 2021.
Sarah
is gone and I am broken hearted.
She was my precious little girl, our youngest
child.
The feeling
of loss is so great it is visceral, and with the sorrow come waves of panic at
not being able
to see her again. I can never talk to her, never hold her again, and never more
be a part of her
life.
We have kept her dressing gown - it still smells of her and I hug that
instead of her.
Sarah
died in horrendous circumstances. I am tormented at the thought of what she
endured.
I play
it out in my mind. I go through the terrible sequence of events. I wonder when
she realised she
was in mortal danger; I wonder what her murderer said to her.
When he strangled
her, for how
long was she conscious,
knowing she would die? It is torture to think of it. Sarah was handcuffed,
unable to defend
herself and there was no one to rescue her.
She spent her last hours on this
earth with the
very worst of humanity. She lost her life because Wayne Couzens wanted to
satisfy his perverted
desires. It is a ridiculous reason, it is nonsensical; how could he value a
human life so
cheaply? I cannot comprehend it. I am incandescent with rage at the thought of
it. He treated my
daughter as if she was nothing and disposed of her as if she was rubbish.
If
Sarah had died because of an illness, she would have been cared for. We could
have looked after
her and been with her. If she had died because of an accident, people would
have tried to help
- there would have been kindness. But there is no comfort to be had, there is
no consoling thought
in the way Sarah died. In her last hours she was faced with brutality and
terror, alone with
someone intent on doing her harm. The thought of it is unbearable. I am haunted
by the horror
of it.
When
Sarah went missing we suffered days of agony, not knowing where she was or what
had happened
to her. Then, when Sarah’s burnt remains were found, we spent two terrible days waiting
for tests to show how she had died, fearing she had been set alight before she
was dead
- the thought was appalling.
Burning
her body was the final insult, it meant we could never again see her sweet face
and never
say goodbye.
Our
lives will never be the same. We should be a family of five, but now we are
four. Her death leaves
a yawning chasm in our lives that cannot be filled. I yearn for her. I remember
all the lovely
things about her: she was caring, she was funny. She was clever, but she was
good at practical
things too. She was a beautiful dancer.
She was a wonderful daughter. She was always
there to listen, to advise, or simply to share with the minutiae of the day.
And she was also
a strongly principled young woman who knew right from wrong and who lived by
those values.
She was a good person. She had purpose to her life.
My
outlook on life has changed since Sarah died: I am more cautious; I worry more
about our other
children. I crave the familiarity and security of home; the wider world has
lost its appeal. It is
too painful to contemplate a future without Sarah, so I just live in the here
and now. I think of Sarah
all the time, but the mornings and evenings are particularly painful. In the
morning I wake up
to the awful reality that Sarah is gone. In the evenings, at the time she was
abducted, I let out
a silent scream: Don’t get in the car, Sarah. Don’t believe him. Run!
I
am repulsed by the thought of Wayne Couzens and what he did to Sarah. I am
outraged that he
masqueraded as a policeman in order to get what he wanted. Sarah wanted to get
married and
have children, now all that has gone. He took her life and stole her future and
we will never have
the joy of sharing that future with her. Each day dawns and I think, Sarah
should be here,
leading her life and embracing new experiences. She had so many years ahead of
her.
I
don’t know how anyone could be so cruel as to take my daughter’s life. What I
do know is that Sarah
will never be forgotten and is remembered with boundless love.
I
cling on to memories of Sarah, I hold them tight to keep them safe. The other
night, I dreamt that
Sarah appeared at home. In my dream I held her and could feel her physically.
Jeremy was there,
we were comforting her, saying “it’s alright Sarah, it’s alright”. I would give
anything to hold
her once more; I hope I dream that dream again.
Impact
Statement for Sarah Everard by her Father, Jeremy Everard
The
impact of what you have done will never end. The horrendous murder of my
daughter, Sarah, is in
my mind all the time and will be for the rest of my life.
A
father wants to look after his children and fix everything and you have
deliberately and with pre_meditation stopped my ability to do that.
Sarah
was handcuffed and unable to defend herself. This preys on my mind all the
time.
I
can never forgive you for what you have done, for taking Sarah away from us.
You
burnt our daughter’s body - you further tortured us - so that we could not see
her again. We did not
know whether you had burnt her alive or dead. You stopped us seeing Sarah for
one last time and
stopped me from giving my daughter one last kiss goodbye.
Her
body fell apart when she was moved. Her brain and neck bones were removed for
months by the pathologist
and her body was difficult to preserve so we had to use the services of a
specialist embalmer
to enable a dignified burial.
All
my family want is Sarah back with us. No punishment that you receive will ever
compare to the pain
and torture that you have inflicted on us.
You
murdered our daughter and forever broke the hearts of her mother, father,
brother, sister, family and
her friends.
Sarah
had so much to look forward to and because of YOU this is now gone forever. She
was saving to
buy a house and looking forward to marriage and children. We were looking
forward to having grandchildren.
We loved being a part of Sarah’s world and expected her to have a full and
happy life.
The
closest we can get to her now is to visit her grave every day.
Impact
Statement for Sarah Everard by her sister, Katie Everard
You
treated Sarah as if she was nothing. Placed more emphasis on satisfying your
sick disgusting
perversions than on a life. Her life. You disposed of my sister's body like it
was rubbish.
Fly-tipped her like she meant nothing. She meant everything. We couldn't even
see her,
she was so badly burnt. Her brain was removed from her skull to check for
trauma and cause
of death - I still don't know if they put her brain back in her head or whether
it is lying next
to her body in her coffin.
Shards
of her kneecap were returned to us to be placed with her body - shards that you knocked
when moving her burnt body from the fridge you had used to hide her and conceal the
fire. We are still missing her hyoid bone from her throat, which is being
checked to see the
force you used to strangle her, to determine how long she may have survived. We
know it
was broken. Her burnt body still had her necklace and one earring in her ear -
the other had
fallen from her ear because it had burnt off.
You
hear from the police that it takes around 2 minutes to strangle someone. And
around 8-10
seconds for them to lose consciousness. At first there is a sense of relief at
hearing that your
sister might only have been aware of what was happening for 8-10 seconds. But
have you
put your hands around your neck and tried pushing hard? 8-10 seconds now seems
a long
time.
You
used your warrant card to trick my sister into your car. She sat in a car
handcuffed for hours.
What could she have thought she had done wrong? What lies did you tell her?
When did
she realise that she wasn't going to survive the night?
...
I'm
constantly replaying in my head - did you rape her, then kill her? Did you kill
her while raping
her? You get small nuggets of information and the thought process starts again.
Your semen
and blood were found in your car. So this suggests you raped her in the car.
You find out
you may have used a belt to strangle her. New horrendous images forming.
You
stopped to get a Lucozade and water at a petrol station. Was she still alive at
this point? Bound
in your car? I am horrified by your ability to flit between what you did and normal everyday
actions. Your casual demeanour on cctv was very upsetting and shocking to see. We
had to go to the flat and pack up Sarah's whole life - washing left hanging up,
half sewn outfits,
deliveries waiting to be returned, packages waiting at the door ready to be
opened. All
signs of a life waiting to be lived -
chores to be done, ready for her to return and continue when she got home. But
she never got
home because a predator - you - was on the loose. Prowling the streets for
hours looking
for his prey.
You
can't comprehend what you are being told when it happened because it is so
horrific. Some
sort of sick waking nightmare. You can't imagine anyone could do such a thing. You
are waiting to hear anything from the police. Every bit you get is different.
You hear her body
has been found. Then you find out she has been burnt. So badly burnt you can't
see her.
Can't see her again to say goodbye. The first thought you have in your head
after despair
and shock is - was she dead before you burnt her? Imagine that even having to
be a
thought. You find out no soot was found in her lungs which suggests she was
burnt after you
murdered her. Imagine being relieved to hear your sister was dead before she
was burnt.
...
I
replay it continuously round in my head. What you may have said to her, what
she may have
said back, when she realised she was in grave danger and was not going to
survive.
Hoping
my sister was unconscious and drugged, but we know that was not the case - no drugs
found in her body, no trauma to the head. Burst blood vessels in her brain from
your strangulation.
Which meant she was conscious when you were doing these unfathomable things
to her. My only hope is that she was in a state of shock and that she wasn't
aware of
the disgusting things being done to her by a monster. When you forced yourself
upon and raped
her. When you put your hands around her neck and strangled her.
It
disgusts me that you were the last person to touch her perfect body and violate
her in the way
you did. The last person to see her alive and speak to her. How scared she must
have been.
The last moments of her life not with loved ones, but frightened and fighting
for her life.
I hate to think of her being so scared and alone and that in her last moments
she had no one
with her. No kindness. I hate that I wasn't there to save her. To stop you. I
find it hard to believe
she is not just living her own life and sick at the thought that her last
moments on this earth
alive were so horrific..
How
dare you take her from me? Take away her hopes and dreams. Her life. Children
that will
never be born. Generations that will never exist. Her future no longer exists.
The future I was
supposed to live with my sister no longer exists. You have ruined so many lives. Sarah
is the very best person with so many people who love and cherish her. I want to speak
to her and hug her and hear her laugh and go out for dinners and drinks and
dancing. All
those conversations we can never have. There were so many things I wanted to
share with
her - trips abroad, being each other's bridesmaid, meeting her babies and being
an Aunty,
growing old together and seeing who got the most wrinkles. We weren't even halfway
through our journey and you took it all away! I
feel like I live in a make-believe world. As if nothing is real. I have to
pretend because the thought
of not having Sarah forever is too hard to bear. A lifetime now seems a very
long time.
I
should never have to write a eulogy for or bury my little sister. There is no
punishment that you
could receive that will ever compare to the pain you have caused us. We can
never get Sarah
back. The last moments of Sarah's life play on my mind constantly. I am so
disgusted and
appalled. It terrifies me that you have such disregard for a person's life. You
have taken from
me the most precious person. And I can never get her back.
posted by Radio Jackie News Team @ 4:05 pm